Until debt do us part

author aoife gaffney until debt do us partIn my latest co-authored book, WE Summit Together, for the first time I talk openly about how I ended up in debt – twice – because of my inability to talk about money with my partner.  I also talk about how I managed to get out of it.

I clearly had to make the same mistake more than once before I learned how NOT to do something.

Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose LEARN.

The biggest lessons for me were

  • learning to talk openly about money,
  • learning to ask for help,
  • learning to listen,
  • learning to figure out what I wanted by figuring out what I did NOT want
  • and learning how to take inspired action.

I learned to face my FEAR.

Fear is simply Focus + Effort + Action = Results.

I married my soul mate recently.  Old fears and anxieties crept up again; how do I talk about money, how do I ask for something, what if we have different views about debt, how do we discuss bills and savings goals and so on.  It has been over 20 years since I have had a “money conversation” with anyone other than myself.

I took a breath, opened my bank statement and said: “do you have 5 minutes, I’d like to run through something with you”.  The world did not end, the sky did not fall in, there was no stress, drama or anxiety.  All of the stresses were in my head.

Since that moment, we have been able to have open, honest and really speedy conversations about money in the same breath as I’d say “pass the salt”.  We have set joint savings and income goals but we each still have our own independence and freedom.  We don’t always agree all of the time but we have both made a commitment to figure stuff out together, and we live in a very small house so there is nowhere to hide.

You can read more about the strategies I used to get out of debt and change my mind mindset in WE Summit Together.  It is an incredible book written by incredible women and ALL the proceeds go to The Christina Noble Foundation.

 

we summit together

My Year in Review

My Year In Review 2018

This is the first year I have decided to publish my annual review and goals for the upcoming year.

I journal, doodle and record my successes through the year using Leonie Dawson’s workbooks and some blank notebooks.

Writing things down by hand helps concrete idea and goals into my subconscious mind.  Reading them daily helps anchor these ideas and my brain will do it’s best to find solutions.

The difference between a millionaire and a billionaire is that the billionaire reads HER goals twice daily.

2018 review by life category:

Personal
  • I met and secretly married my soul mate on 21st December 2018.

We made a conscious decision to keep things private and not invite anyone.  It’s ok to set boundaries, it’s ok to say no, it’s ok not to be a people pleaser.

marriage focus
Business
we summit together

WE Summit Together

Financial
  • I worked on increasing my multiple streams of earned and passive income.  There is more about this in Financial Freedom Explained.
  • Based on the success of my signature “Money Magic” programme with the ETB, I am able to announce more venues in 2019.   These classes are totally FREE.
  • I won 3 euro on the lottery.
  • I use my favourite software, YNAB, to manage my money – both business and personal.
Home Life
  • I reorganised my very cluttered kitchen cupboards using Marie Kondo’s technique.  Sort first, purge and then group similar items together.

Personal Development

  • I continue to read at least one book a week.  I will probably read even more now that the libraries are no longer charging fines for overdue books.
  • I overcame a fear of open water and swam across the river Cher in France.
Family
  • I was able to spend valuable time with my family at two wedding in 2018.
  • I welcomed my beautiful grand niece into the world.

Volunteering

  • I continued being an active volunteer first aid trainer and emergency first responder with St John Ambulance, Castleknock.
  • I’m still trying to master driving an ambulance, let’s just say that I would not rely on my driving skills in an emergency.

What did not go well

  • I had intended to launch an online programme based on my face to face Money Magic classes but I let my fear of being visible and being judged get in the way.
  • I did not put myself forward enough for speaking engagements and undervalued myself.

Areas for improvement

  • Just do it and realise that done is better than perfect.
  • Ask for help and then actually implement the solutions.
  • Put myself first and pay myself first, no argument.

We often overestimate what we can do in a day but underestimate what we can do in a week.

Goals for 2019

  • Travel more – visit at least new countries and take my first family holiday with my husband and our children.
  • Be more visible in my business.
  • Become a best selling author (again) with WE Summit Together.
  • Secure paid speaking engagements.
  • Tame my clutter and continue using the Marie Kondo method of tidying up.
  • Landscape my garden.
  • Look for more opportunities to collaborate with like-minded business owners and authors.
4 feet of snow

Coping with cabin fever

I’m about to go quite mad! Cabin fever is setting in.

However, thank heavens for my Kindle.

90% of my books are still in boxes. I packed up my old house in August 2017, moved to my new house, unpacked in September 2017 and then repacked in January 2018 for renovations.

I love free stuff. My books are free from today until Monday on Amazon Kindle

I also get lots of free books from BookBub. I get a daily email with offers.

I can’t do some of the things I love doing do such as tidy my sock drawer (no drawer and socks in boxes), clean the kitchen (I haven’t got a kitchen), vacuum the carpet (floors are bare concrete), read a physical book (I’d have to find it), cook (no kitchen remember).

I sold my television about a year ago and I have not missed it until the last few days. Then again, I haven’t got a sofa or chair to sit on either. Arghhh

However, there is always my trusted Kindle and free books.

I have signed up for 30 day free trials for Amazon Audible and Prime Video.

That should keep me going until I can physically make outside my front door.

Pru

freedom word cloud

Give yourself permission to be free

Today is a snow day!

I give myself permission to take the day off.

I give myself permission to work on my business and not in my business.

I give myself permission to do whatever I want.

The majority of my work is location independent.  This means that I can do what I love as long as I have an internet connection and my laptop.

This allows me the freedom to be where I want to be and to be there for my family when they need me.

A book that changed how I perceive traditional work is [amazon_link asins=’B003O86L0I’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’conyouownba0a-21′ marketplace=’UK’ link_id=’9195a0af-1c6f-11e8-8488-7b21442835d1′]

Have a great day, stay safe, stay warm.

Pru

 

time for change

Mind your language

 

It’s time for change.

Are you aware of the words you use around money?

Are you aware of your own language around money?

I was working with a client last week and she mentioned she “throws” money at a family member that she takes care of.  She meant in a very kind, affectionate way but it came across as being careless and almost that she did not like money.

When we unravelled her story, her beliefs around money were coming from a place of lack and no self-worth.  She did not feel worthy of having money.  This had become her story and this was the first step to changing that story.

Her new words are “give, gift, bestow, bequest, share, offer”.  Her new mantra is “the more people I help, the more money I make.  The more money I have, the more I can give.”

“[amazon_textlink asin=’1622032519′ text=’Thoughts grow stronger as they are shared’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’conyouownba0a-21′ marketplace=’UK’ link_id=’86fd27e6-1bad-11e8-96b7-8985ced41613′].”

Make your thoughts stronger by joining my private Facebook group.   It’s free.